Running=Dangerous

Even Reese Witherspoon gets injured while running. Note to self: watch for cars...

Winning!!!

The race was SO FUN!!! I will blog later. Just posting up our end of race picture! Go team!

I have a medal,
-Heather

Quote of the Race: "Who needs training?"-Denise Brookens @ mile 6 of the Disneyland 1/2 marathon

4 days away...

The marathon is 4 days away and this group is one big hot mess.

One girl has got a sprained knee, another has a pulled leg muscle, one isn’t even going to run after all, and the rest are probably going to end up in the Pinocchio parking lot. Pinocchio parking lot is where the slow runners get picked up if they can’t keep up pace.

My outfit is completely black (which I can’t stand-I love colors damn it!) and I don’t want to run an entire 13.1 miles alone! Lord help us.

 This is the worst non-runner runners group I have ever heard of. Pray for us.

Running Scared,

Heather

This is why I run...

So that one day I can marry THIS man...

All the inspiration I need :-) xoxo -Heather

Pictures for the fans...

Vultures!!!

More Vultures!!!

Denise Running!!!

My toenails that are falling off!!!

Birds waiting for me to die...

7/23/11 Run with the Bulls

Another week closer to the Disneyland marathon. Another long Saturday run completed. 

This week was pretty fun. Me, Denise, Allyse, Dena, and Allie all did 10 miles. Props to Dena who hasn’t ran in months. Good job sexy! J I love watching your ass when we run! And good job to Allie who ran in Vans. We ran the trail in the opposite direction we normally do this time and I think it helped make the run funner. It’s nice to have a change of scenery.  

Many a people were on the trail this weekend to amuse us. We saw:

1.        A lady with HUGE camel toe.

2.       A huge group of high school boys running with their teacher and 1 chick in her bra and underwear.  We labeled her the “inspiration” for that group of boys. Was underwear seriously necessary? I felt like a big huge fat blob after she passed us.

3.       A skinny mom running effortlessly while pushing a stroller with a baby in it. When she stopped for a break we ran past her and I think that classified us as “winning”, until she ran by us again and we felt like “losers” again.

4.       A big man on a bicycle who rode by and dropped an unopened bottle of Dasani water. He was too big/lazy to get off his bike so it was left for us. Lucky us it was cold too!

Every chance I could I made sure to wave at my many fans driving alongside the road. I think I got one wave and one honk. I’m so sexy!

My feet hurt, another toe nail is lifting, and I peed in the parking lot. I think that means it was a successful run.  I went out on Thursday in flip-flops and got a huge blister. My feet hate me. Who gets blisters in FLIP-FLOPS??? I think my next hobby is going to be a water sport.

Another adventure next Saturday...

The sexiest non runner runner-Heather

7/16/11

Another week of 11 miles complete. 3 hours total.

Alma, Denise, and I are so gangster!  My feet are cracking (with a bit of blood) and one of my toenails is halfway lifted off already. I ached in my thighs and my back-fat too…It must be closer to marathon time because I can feel it everywhere. Denise joined us for this run and she did awesome. It was her first time running in months and she ran easier than me and Alma did.

This time we ran into the meanest fattest lady on a bike yet. She yelled at us and told us we weren’t even supposed to be on the trail. Mind you, we were ALL the way to the right, single file, and under a freeway overpass. If we had gone any farther to the right we would have been IN the riverbed. I had to watch her fat-ass ride away on a bike cursing her under my breath and wishing I had a slingshot to knock her off her bicycle. If I ever become a biker I will NEVER yell at the runners.

Scary part of the run=seeing 10 vultures all huddled together near the trail bed. I believe they were waiting for me to fall down dead so they could eat me. I made Alma take a picture. I’ll post it. I thought vultures belong in the desert…but we ARE in a recession. It’s even hard for the vultures to come by food. They are resorting to eating non-runner runners now. The rude nasty biker ladies must not taste too good. I’d pick me too J

The yummy non-runner runner,

Heather

Si Se Puede!

Updated blog post on last Saturdays 11 mile run to follow...

With love, Heather

63 days till Disneyland Half Marathon...

So I went to the library this week and found this book.  ^^^^^^^^^^^Right up there.

When I start reading it the first sentence of the first chapter says this..."If you ask most nonrunners what they think of running a marathon, most of them will tell you it looks like a painful, difficult, next-to-impossible feat best left to superhumans."

First off I starting laughing out loud because the sentence used the word NON-RUNNERS. Until then I thought WE had invented that word. Apparently I was wrong. The second reason I was laughing is because it's probably the truest statement ever made. And its also a perfect way to start off a running book. I think most non-runners AND also REAL runners would say that statement is true to life. I dont care how many marathons a person has run, if they say it's fun and enjoyable they are LYING.  Running sucks. I hate it. But still I feel the need to check out a book from the library about training for a marathon...I don't get it. It's like a sick obsession.

This book also said that less than 1 of every 1000 Americans is said to have completed a full marathon. 1 in 1000! That's HUGE. I give our non-runners runners group a pat on the back...because we are those 1 in 1000 people who can say we've done it.

Disneyland marathon is coming up. I have a feeling that marathon day is going to come and we are just going to show up and start running because no one can seem to get motivated to train. And we will all cross the finish lines either injured and falling down or panting and crying with blisters and blood coming out of odd places. That will make for a nice "AFTER MARATHON" picture with Mickey and Minnie. I already feel bad for Mickey. He's gonna have to throw my shoe across the finish line to make sure I qualify. And then Goofy might have to carry me to get my medal. But hell, I'll be able to keep that 1 in 1000 statistic valid :-)

More fun facts from my book to follow...

NON-RUNNERS UNITE!

Heather :-)

11 Miles

I need new shoes. Even though these ARE new shoes, they don’t work. Today I started training for the Disneyland half marathon.  I actually have to start buckling down and get going on this running thing. Because now I have no choice. Unless I want to get picked up by the little golf cart man for being too slow and be disqualified I have to start training. And I think we did REALLY well today. We went 11 miles and I really don’t think I slowed down until the last 2 miles and that was because my feet were just throbbing. I have blisters on what seems like the entire bottoms of my feet.  Suck it Asics you are NOT my favorite brand of shoes. I am officially disqualifying you.

Highlights of the run:

1.       Seeing a huge caterpillar hanging on a bush branch.

2.       Seeing a neon blue bird.

3.       Seeing a red duck.

4.       Watching a car get pulled over on the freeway.

5.       The beautiful weather.

6.       Chatting with Alma on a Saturday morning.

7.       New painted mile markers on the Green River trail

Lowlights of the run:

1.       Blisters. Lots of them. All over.

2.       Eating bugs. Lots of them. All over.

3.       Sore back fat

4.       Sore front fat

5.       Holding my pee for 5 miles because I’m afraid of the porta potty

6.       Rude bicyclists, like always

7.       Thinking in my brain “Why do I do this?”

Until the next blister or lost toenail...

Heather